Okay, so anyone who has been reading this marathon thread for a while will be well aware of my opinion of the Hornet’s Nest series of audios which I first reviewed with the fourth instalment, A Sting in the Tale.  For anyone new to the thread….I hate them.


This was the first story in my marathon I was actually dreading listening to.  Now, I want to make it clear that I am not one of those fans – you know, the ones who watch the new series, or listen to the audios, or read the books or whatever and then come on forums and bitch and moan about how awful it all is and how RTD/Moffat/Briggs etc has ruined the series; how it isn’t like it was in the classic days; how they don’t know how to write proper Doctor Who; etc etc etc.  I love every part of the Doctor Who universe – obviously I have likes and dislikes (I thought Cold War was brilliant but was thoroughly bored by The Rings of Akhaten) but none of these make me want to carry my pitchfork to Cardiff wanting Moffat’s head on a stick.  I love the variety (and I’m sure I’ll enjoy Akhaten the next time I watch it).

But Hornet’s Nest really winds me up.  It is such a poor series that I have absolutely no intention of picking up the following series, Demon Quest and Serpent Crest (unless they’re given away free like Hornet’s Nest was).  This is the only part of the Doctor Who universe that I think has utterly and completely got it wrong.  Not wrong like TV Comic used to get it; or wrong like Sky Ray lollies; or even wrong like Search Out Science.  All of those have a get out clause in that they were either written in a more naïve time (in terms of understanding what Doctor Who is all about) or are separate from the ‘canon’ and can just be enjoyed for what they are.Hornet’s Nest isn’t trying to be separate from the rest of the universe but it doesn’t seem to understand what Doctor Who is.  It isn’t the Tom Baker Show.

This is the problem I had with A Sting in the Tale (and with the entire series) and so I won’t go on and on about it again, but just to my reiterate by biggest beef with these stories – Tom is not playing the 4th Doctor – he is just being Tom Baker.  The eccentric, barmy, oohh aren’t I bonkers Tom Baker so often seen at conventions.  His performance in the audios is one step away from saying ‘frilly knickers’ in a deep booming voice or regaling Mike Yates with the tale of how someone wrote a rude word across his tombstone (you know – the one on Trenzalore).  This was bad enough in A Sting in the Tale, but seems even worse in The Circus of Doom, especially when Tom intones ‘the Circus of DOOM’ like some deeply miserable prophet.  And don’t even get me started on the idea of the Doctor having a dead dwarf in his back garden as a grotesque substitute for a garden gnome!


The Doctor simply doesn’t behave like the Doctor.  I have no idea what Paul Magrs was thinking when he wrote this series.  I like his other writing – especially Iris Wildthyme (a character who is decidely marmite in the world of Doctor Who fans) – so cannot understand how he has got it so wrong here.  It is almost like he is trying to make the 4th Doctor into a male equivalent of Iris.  Whilst listening to this instalment, I kept thinking that Tom had been given the direction to play the lines like some mad old aunt, particularly with the 19th Century setting.  The irony is that, of all the Doctors, the 4th is probably the closest to Iris in terms of character (something that’s been pointed out in stories featuring Iris and other Doctors) but that doesn’t mean he should be written AS Iris.

But what of the actual story.  It’s actually a fun setting.  The village is called Blandford, which immediately put me in mind of Cranford and Lark Rise to Candleford (neither of which I watch, but have absorbed enough from trailers and Victoria Wood’s spoof version to visualise it).  The idea of a creepy circus lead by a foreign, hunchback dwarf is a good one although, funnily enough, I didn’t get a real feel for it and was left a little disappointed (much the same feeling I get when watching The Greatest Show in the Galaxy…a circus setting is something which should really appeal to me, but I find both Greatest and Circus of Doom a little unsatisfying).  I like the idea of a circus coming to town and bewitching the locals (although it’s not the most original of ideas – it has a certain Hammer Horror-vibe to it).  Mentions of bonnets and silk jackets do help to cement the period, along with the Doctor’s description of various witterings and fannings from the local womenfolk which brings to mind the likes of various Jane Austen dramatisations.


Unfortunately, the performances let this down horribly.  Tom’s bizarre version of the 4th Doctor aside, the rest of the cast fail to make any impact.  The three playing Sally, Farrow and Francesca are serviceable but forgettable – even Francesca’s ‘possession’ at the close of the story is dull.  Only on checking the cast list did I realise the usually reliable Stephen Thorne was playing Antonio, the dwarf, and realised what a muted performance he gives (compared to his Omega or Eldrad, or even Max in The Ghosts of N Space – in fact I’d rather he did play it like Max (a ridiculously overacted role if I remember correctly, because one; it would liven up this audio no end and two; it would mean somebody matching up to Tom’s over the top performance meaning maybe it wouldn’t stand out so much next to the blandness of the rest of the cast.)  The guest cast is topped off by a barely disguised minor role for Mrs Wibbsey actress, Susan Jameson which only serves to remind the listener of her absence from the story.

And talking of absences, the less said about poor Richard Franklin, the better.  Yates in this story serves merely as a device to give a reason for the Doctor to be telling the story.  It’s not needed and it’s a waste of Franklin.  A series where he accompanied the Doctor would have been more palatable to me and might have helped tone down Tom’s performance.  Tom without a companion is not a good idea because he just lets rip and, for me, completely alienates the audience with an unlikeable, impenetrable performance.  It’s the reason the Doctor needs a companion, otherwise many of the incarnations would be fairly unlikeable sods and this series more or less proves it.


I do like the buzzing sound design for the hornets which, on headphones, penetrates in quite a chilling way, and as a ‘monster/villain’ they have a lot of potential – I particularly like the various images of them wriggling around inside various eyes and swarming around characters.  But, as part of this series, they don’t excite me in the way I think they should.

And breathe…I’m sorry if anyone reading this (is there anyone still reading this?) loves Hornet’s Nest but this is, as I say, probably the only branch of Doctor Who I actually wish had never been made.  I am not looking forward to the other three instalments (the next in my marathon will be The Dead Shoes sometime in 1932) but will listen to them and then rant in the spirit of completeness.